The Most Fragile Thing

Dear Emily,

Time has been running out and it is my time to go. You know I have been waiting for you for 5 years. I knew you will not be here next week and it tears me apart so badly. I could not imagine you will be away for another year.  This is a hard decision and I know you will be hurt, but I need to do it. Otherwise, I would never live the life that I wanted. You will probably find my tears in this letter because I cried on it. Oh, silly me.  I knew you have a lot of big dreams and I am happy for you that you can achieve them one by one. I know going to Haiti is one of your dreams and I am so glad you get the opportunity to go there. We have so many amazing memories and I just can not believe I have to let you go at the end. Your love is the reason that I am so grateful towards my life. It is a wonderful opportunity and I thank God I met you. However, I have to learn to open my heart to another woman from this time. I will always support you so if you need me please do contact me. I hope I will see you again soon. I know we will still be good friends after all.

Sincerely yours,

Ian B.

Emily is starring at that letter with a blank mind. Only one word came to her mind: Sure. Sure she knows that this time will come, and there is no doubt that she have been prepared for this time to come. Ian is the most patient man in the whole world. [Emily] I know he suffer so much to wait for me. I whispered to myself: “Yes, I can not believe this also, Ian… We have been this far.” The woman who will have his heart will be very lucky and deep down I know that clearly.

Emily is working as a humanitarian and she will be going to Haiti next week. Ian, however, will stay in this small town. Ian is a hardworking British man that Emily knows since childhood. Looking back at where they met, Emily reminds herself back to the year 1994. At that time, Emily was planting a tree in the farm by herself, and there she finds Ian smiling at her. “Hi there, care to help me?” He took a closer look at Emily. “Sure. What do you need?”Emily answered. “Hmm yeah I would like to know where the Oak’s farm is. I thought you will know it, I just moved here last week by the way. Nice to meet you.” He explained carefully why he would like to know and saw if Emily will help him or not. Emily accompanied him until they found the Oak’s farm and introduce him to the surroundings.

“Thank you. I really do appreciate it. You are a nice girl.” Ian smiles at Emily and leave. The next weeks Emily spend is with him and they are become closer and closer. They work in the farm almost everyday. They started to form their own shared dream, which is marrying each other. All this happened before Emily started to live in her dreams. Emily keeps wondering why love, the most fragile thing that everyone are looking for, could never go hand in hand with dreams. Most people in Emily’s town, however, never go anywhere other than around town. But Emily is different; she wants to see the world. Emily has a very big dream to helps people all over the world especially refugees in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Haiti. But she always has to choose between love and dream.

One year later, without even answering the last letter from him, Emily gets another letter. She gets a bad feeling about this one. She begins to open the letter and one word catches her really hard. Her heart beats faster in a second. That word is wedding. Yes, this one is Ian’s wedding invitation. I will be back just in time for the wedding. No question asked; I will be there for him.

On the wedding day, I met him in the church. He looks so different because I have not seen him all year. That fact has devastated me. Maybe I do not know him anymore like I used to be. He asked me when he sees me that day, “How are you? Are you okay?” I answered him clearly, “I could have not been better. I see you happy and that is all I could ask for.” She smiled at him and told him that she needs to do other things. Of course it is just an excuse and he knows that, but she does not care. She can not be around him often in that kind of situation.

[Emily] Since I do not see him around again, tears started to fall down from my eyes. I can not stand it anymore and I do not want to see him looking at me crying, on his wedding day. So I left. Not knowing when I could see him again.

Original short story by Nadira Irdiana

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